On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
