Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
