when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
