Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
