he was CRYING into my vagina
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
