if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
