I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
