ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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