I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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