She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
