I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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