Only a mothe r could love this liver
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
