I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They took my balls.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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