I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it hurts more in the daytime
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
