Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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