He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
