Say something about gay babies.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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