i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
