Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We won't sleep together?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
