does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
