Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
