fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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