If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
