Can Purell be used as lube?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
