it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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