Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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