I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
