I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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