He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
