she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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