dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
