Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
