I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
