sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize