GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
