do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
