Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
