when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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