We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
someone threw a dead crab at me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
