this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
