Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
