direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
