Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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