Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
