hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize