Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My breasts were aching with rage.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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