around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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