you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
