You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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