Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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