awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
