she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
