All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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