Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize