8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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