someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
