Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
