so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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