he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
