tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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