brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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